Joy Diet Week 4: Creativity
I’ll admit it, I was a little miffed when I discovered that the creativity chapter had nothing to do with art. I had my heart set on glitter, magazines and watercolor painting. However, once I got over my initial outrage, I realized how important it was to see creativity outside of art making. Here is a run down of my week with creativity:
Day One: Read the chapter on creativity. Look over sadly at my art supplies. Read the chapter again. Try to articulate “How do I?” questions and come up with nothing. Put the book away for awhile and go for a run. Procrastinate some more. Come back and read the chapter again. Realize that perhaps it is fear and not my frustration at not being able to do art that is holding me back. Write out my desires. Realize that the desire that I want to focus on is negativity. Write out, “How do I get negativity out of my life?” Make a list of five feasible ideas: 1. Make a list of all of the people and things that I consider to be negative 2. Make an action plan for getting rid of one of the things that I consider to be part of the negativity in my life 3. Make a list of ways to consciously committing to be positive rather than negative 4. Try out one of the items on the list 5. Use the list from number one to brain-storm why certain things are not black and white. Spend time sitting in the grey areas.
Day Three: Procrastinate. Get my journal out and write “Creativity” in sparkly pink letters. Procrastinate some more. Go apple picking. Ponder my desires why picking apples. Get my journal out again. Decide to focus on my desire to have more healthy relationships. Write out, “How do I create more healthy/satisfying/meaningful relationships in my life?” Make a list of five feasible ideas: 1. Make a list of all of the things I think are important to have a healthy, satisfying and meaningful relationships 2. Take a good hard look at the people I am spending my time with and why 3. Write a list of the things that I am getting out of being in unhealthy relationships 4. Take time to foster and appreciate the healthy relationships I am in (send thank you notes, make plans, bake cookies) 5. Write an affirmation for myself that articulates that I can read often to affirm that I deserve and should be in healthy relationships.
Day Six: Absent mindedly slip in to thinking about creativity during my morning pages. Write out, “How do I get help with my mental health issues?” Immediately close my journal and go for a thirty minute run with tears rolling down my cheeks. Open up my journal again and really take in the words. Realize that it is time and that I really do need help with the mental health issues I have been having. Make a list of five feasible ideas: 1. Confide in trusted loved ones about the issues that I have been having and ask them for support 2. Write out a list of my concerns as they relate to my mental health 3. Make a doctor’s appointment 4. Write out an edited list of concerns that I want to talk about with my doctor 5. Actually talk with my doctor about my mental health issues.
This week with creativity brought up a lot of really painful and hard stuff for me this week. I decided to only do the day to day for a few days because I am still really struggling with some of the things my week with creativity has led me to see.
I found myself in a very painful place when trying to do the enemy exercise. I tried over and over and just kept coming up with very difficult to face emotions. I decided for the time being to sit in those emotions and not push it.
How were your weeks with creativity? Have you read Jamie’s post on this week’s reactions?
14 comments:
Thanks for your nice comment.
Yes, creativity was a bit strange. I was not really a thing that cuts the path clear for being creative.
My other problem is, it all goes to fast. I think I must slow this down, I can't digest the whole thing. Risk is a tough chapter and I am not able to deal with new challenges, I am still chewing on truth and desire.
So let's see...
Take care, til Friday, LW
Sara @Soulspackle says
As usual, I feel honored to read about your process that you write about so honestly and bravely. I think you are doing really big work, and I want to keep cheering you on because being in your truth is clearly bringing you closer to being YOU more and more, and also making you stronger. Your self-care marching orders are dead-on, and actually following through on them? I know that isn't easy! Big hugs to you my friend!
Melinda says
Well I can certainly relate. I had decided as you know to stop the book.....but then this week I feel like it is tugging at me to finish it. WHY I don't know other than I have issues with quitting anything. So who knows. I will see where it takes me. I have the book set out to return to the library tomorrow..but maybe I will reopen it today.
Hang in there. Only each of us individually know what we can or can't handle and when we can or can't!
Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment! ;)
Melita says
i always look forward to reading your joy diet posts (all of your posts really but specifically these because i can literally watch you grow on these posts).
i am sorry that you have found yourself in a painful place but i know that you will get through it with flying colors my friend. once you get past the painful parts everything will feel so much worth it. if you ever want to talk you have my email ;) hugs!!
Kim says
Wonderful post. Funny, honest, insightful.
Congratulations on taking steps toward your self care.
I have had issues with my own mental health and I know what a challenge that can be. For me personally, I found that confiding in those I love & trust to be a great help because when you are ill (mentally or physically or both) it is hard to find the energy to get the help you need. I was happily surprised at how willing people were to help me and how many people confided in me that they had struggled with the same issues.
Peace
Dawn says
what a wonderful reminder to all of us that there is so much value in "spending time in the grey areas" and to sit with our emotions. thank you for putting those words down here.
and thank you for your honesty and authenticity. you are such a blessing, lexi.
kaileenelise says
Well, my friend, I agree with Melita. I also really look forward to reading your Joy Diet posts. You are doing a lot of work over there & even though I only know you in this world, I am certain you are going look back on these days with pride. Keep it up. Believe in yourself. Remember that you have a whole tribe of us behind you. xo, kaileenelise
cathyb says
Thanks for your comments on my blog - I actually was the one who contacted Jamie on the weekend to let her know that evdryone was having a "bad reaction" to this chapter - I love your honesty in your post - let's touch base again next week - I hope this chpater is better
Girasole says
I really like your approach this week. Seems like lots of progress with the questions and lists. I'm sorry about the painful spots too but it sounds wise and brave to sit with it. Thank you for sharing this.
Expressive Hart says
Really enjoyed your post! I love how you "proscrastinated" with delightful activities like apple picking! I think we give "procrastination" a bad rap sometimes...I think we are listening to our deeper knowing that either this doesn't resonate with me or my energy just isn't lined up yet.
Pink Heels says
Hang in there! Honor, respect, love, and be true to yourself as you experience these bumps in the road. Hugs!
Lisa @sacred circle says
What immense courage I see in your words... once again, I have loved watching your week unfold in the context of the book, and your openness as you face challenging emotions. Take you time... you are doing such deep work! Many hugs...
bubbly girl says
I loved reading your post, it's so personal and honest. It may not be fun resolving all you painful emotions and situations, but I'm sure you'll benefit from it. Thanks for the tip about yogademia.com in your comment, I'll definitely explore that!
KathrynAntyr says
You know I too was miffed that this chapter wasn't about pulling out the art supplies. but...I didn't let that stop me!
Thanks for sharing the journey. It sure does make this book come to life!