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It is time to reflect on another chapter of The Joy Diet hosted by the lovely Jamie Ridler. This week the challenge was to do one frightening thing every day that contributes to the fulfillment of your desires. Here is how my week with risk went:

Day One: Write my Mondo Beyondo List. Decide to make it as risky and as daring as possible. Write things on it that my heart actually desires rather than what I think I should write. Realize how great it feels to really listen to myself.

Day Two: Realize that there are a lot of scary things between me and my desires. Decide that I either have to do this activity completely or not do it at all. Have a mini melt down about all of my truth I am uncovering. Take a walk and read Wild Geese by Mary Oliver. Make a commitment to do something scary. Decide to confide in one of my close friends about an abusive situation I have been in. Swirl my scarf in to tight knots as I reveal what has been happening over the last little while. Have a lovely heart to heart talk about the situation. Realize how much I have been isolating other people in my life who really care and love me.

Day Three: This path is really not going to be easy. Just thinking about all of the heartache ahead makes me want to curl up under my covers forever. Decide that hiding under blankets is not an appropriate plan. Take action. Decide to end the relationship. Swirl my scarf in to more knots as I have that conversation. The one where you say that this is no longer working for me, I think you have issues that you need to resolve and I cannot put myself in to danger anymore. Walk away from the five year on and off relationship with tears streaming down my cheeks and a smile on my face.

Day Four: Feeling a little overwhelmed by the previous days risk taking. Decide to treat myself to a deep tissue massage. Realize how disconnected from my body I have become. Make a plan of action to become more connected with my body. Commit myself to taking one yoga-dance class each week.

Day Five: Realize today is the day that I have to be more honest with my doctor. I have an amazing doctor who has always been really supportive. The thing is I find it quite difficult to talk with her about issues like abuse and mental health. Ask for advice about talking to your doctor on Twitter and have some lovely Twitter and email conversations with amazing people. Prepare a list of things that I want to discuss with my doctor. Have the mental health issue discussion with my doctor. Begin to shut down when I try to open up about the other issues. Stumble through my questions and leave out some of the most important ones. Make an appointment for the following week.

Day Six: Realize how empowered these risks have made me feel. Decide to turn my attention to graduate school. Print off the applications for all of the social work graduate schools I would like to attend. Think about who I would like to use as my references. Feel overcome by shyness when thinking of approaching my favorite undergrad professor. Decide to do it anyway. Call her and ask her if she would be willing to be a reference. End up having a long discussion about how she always thought that I would make a better therapist than lawyer. Make plans to meet and catch up.

Day Seven: Decide that I want to make my mental health a priority. Research and explore the options that are available. Make a phone call to a local organization and ask them if they can provide me with more direction on the type of help I am looking for. Have an amazing conversation about all the available resources.

How was your week with risk?