Joy Diet Week Six: Treats
It is time for another installment of my day to day breakdown of The Joy Diet for The Next Chapter book blogging group hosted by the lovely Jamie Ridler. When I realized the chapter was on treats, I was over the moon excited. However, I found myself meeting with both resistance and fear as the week progressed. Here is my breakdown of my week with treats:
Day One: Read the chapter on treats. Love the idea of giving myself three treats per day. Start to fantasize about all of the ways that I can incorporate treats in to my life. Reach the part about pigs pushing shopping carts. Go to Youtube and spend far too much time watching cute animals doing cute things. Wonder if this counts as a treat because it is bringing a huge smile to my face. Think of a list of treats. Feel quite a bit resistant to actually giving myself a treat. Journal about it.
Day Two: Rebel against being compared to an animal. Wonder why I am feeling so much resistance to treating myself. Make the connection that my resistance to treats stems from being rewarded by my abuser for “proper behaviour.” Try and figure out a way to work through the icky feeling that I get in my stomach when I am given or give myself a treat. Decide that I need to write more about why receiving rewards for behaviours feels bad for me. Write over twenty pages in my journal.
Day Three: Try the fake smile/real smile activity on the subway going to work. Realize how often I use my fake smile and how natural it feels. Make a mental note to only try and smile when I authentically want to. Watch Under the Tuscan Sun and read passages from Eat, Pray, Love to encourage myself to smile. Realize the deepness of my depression and write a note in my planner pad to discuss with my doctor.
Day Four: This is the day I am going to treat myself to three things. Start my day off with a trip to Starbuck’s for one of my favourite decaf drinks. This puts pep in my step and a smile on my face for the rest of the morning. Take a risk and submit my application for a grant that I have wanted to apply for, for the past four years. Reward myself for this with some new post-it notes and writing supplies. Smile happily as I write my first affirmation on my brand spanking new pink post-it notes. Start to feel a little bit icky later in the afternoon. Have a long discussion with a dear friend who has had similar experiences about my hesitations. Purchase some of my favourite bubble bath and indulge in an extra long bath to end the day.
Day Five: Wake up feeling really withdrawn. Go to work and continue to feel closed off. Encourage myself to go to an afternoon yoga class as a treat. Feel a lot more energized and happy after the class. Go to a support group and treat myself to a copy of Body and Soul magazine on the way home. Smile for real as I read the articles on my subway ride home.
Day Seven: Have three really important things to do back to back. Decide on a system in which I get a reward for each of them. Get through all of them with good success and reward myself with a trip to the used bookstore for a new book, dinner at my favourite vegan restaurant Fresh and an aromatherapy candle. Realize that treating myself is something I am going to have to keep practicing.
How was your week with Treats? Did you enjoy the process or did you find yourself resisting like me?
Note: I did not include day six because it was a really horrible day for me on a personal level and I really did not dedicate any time to treats or The Joy Diet.20 comments:
I'm two chapters behind, but have enjoyed your posts so much throughout I read it anyway (I've been trying to stay away from the new posts).
The thing I admire most about the way you've treated the whole book is your ability to be honest not only with us, but more important, with you. I have great faith that you'll scale this mountain and reach the "healing peak." Much love and supportive vibes coming your way!
Ginny says
I am glad that I am not the only one who had some trouble with this chapter. Thank you for letting me know I was not alone. I really admire how you are working through this book and was so glad that you found several treats throughout the week that put a genuine smile on your face. I hope that you continue to treat yourself often.
Kim says
Sounds like you really hit on something this week. Maybe you could try treating yourself just because you are you, because you're worth it.
Congratulations on finally applying for that grant. I admire how you keep moving forward despite your hesitation and resistance. You don't deny those feelings - you acknowledge them and then choose to move forward
becky n says
I have so much respect for the work you are doing with this book and appreciate the way you carefully describe your own journey. It sounds like you've made some good headway with treating yourself, and I hope it gets easier and more natural as you practice.
I'm thinking of you this week as you go on to play.
KathrynAntyr says
I really appreciate the honesty in your post. I believe treating ourselves well is part of a healthy diet. Your chronicles will guide you on your journey. May you find each day brings you new opportunities to smile. Remember that you are worthy of treating yourself very, very well.
Helen says
Absolutely, keep on practicing. I have some internal resistance to treats too, and I'm determined to keep trying. Your candor and openness are admirable. Keep up the great internal work - it looks like you're really getting somewhere with this!
Art Visions says
I feel so good that I'm not the only one who had trouble with being compared to an animal. I decided to ignore it and focus on indulging my inner child. Check out my post on more about this!
Thanks for your honesty...it was definitely a roller coaster for a minute this week but you got through it well!
kaileenelise says
kaileenelise says
It is a treat to read your posts every week. Thank you for sharing your journey so openly and honestly. New practices can be hard to implement, but totally worth in the end. xo, kaileenelise
Christine Claire Reed says
What an amazing opportunity you took with this chapter. I hope you take the time to be proud of your bravery.
Smiling. I used to get yelled at by my abusive parents that I didn't smile enough. Why didn't I smile more, they would demand. Hmmm...I wonder.
But to this day, I only smile when I really really want to, feel like it.
I never put all of this together -- that it comes from my desire to be REAL in the face of so much fake.
Thanks for clarifying that for me. :)
Lawendula says
I really like the way you write down the process of going through it.
I thought about the "fake smile", am I a lucky one, because I never use it? It might be helpful from time to time. But I cannot smile, if I'm not up to it.
I am curious how play would be, I read this chapter today....
I wish you a very nice week full of rewards!
theifswtich says
Thank you for exploring your process so thoroughly - I loved the laugh I got when I read Day 1 - and then you describe the humanity of the ups and downs of most of our normals lives so well. Big big big congratulations on submitting the grant proposal - what an accomplishment.
Dia says
I was touched by your post as well - like the way you chronologed the week & your insights.
Day two sounds tough - & like you gained a lot, working through it!
Earlier this year I took part in a group previewing a book before pub.& looked up info on oxytocin & bonding (re: some incedents in the book) - women produce MORE oxytocin (the bonding hormone) when in abusive relationships!!
My sense is that it was originally important for us to bond with our 'protectors' - if a fellow was good at fighting off sabre tooth tigers, say, it would be good to have him for a mate!! Unfortunatly, if the stress is in the relationship, it still kicks in!
Blessings - & good luck with that grant!
Lisa @sacred circle says
I just love how each week you approach this journey with such forthright honesty and courage. Your daily accounts speak of someone who is truly wide awake to their existence... Bravo!
Melita says
there is nothing better than treats no matter how big or small. i've said it before but i'll say it again, i love watching you transform before my eyes. be sure to treat yourself because you totally deserve it. it's been a real treat getting to know you. hugs my friend!!
Tisha says
I so appreciate reading your week-long process. It truly normalizes the whole up and down thing for me, which is such a gift from you. Thank you.
I can hear you truly being in the process of risking...taking a few authentic steps forward, sitting with what's coming up, finding treats that work, responding with what's next. You are living it, girl!
Hugs to you!
Fatma says
I too so love reading your daily application of our weekly item and the honesty and openness you bring to your writing.
Bravo for treating yourself to 3 treats on Day 7. Keep treating yourself all you can!
Much Love
Fatma
gina says
Wow! You really worked through a lot this week. I appreciate your honesty about the ups and downs. Reading your reactions helps me understand this process we're all going through. Thank you! Hope play is lots of fun for you!
Pink Heels says
Maybe the treats that you desire and need are not physical but rather deeper...just a thought. But of course, physical treats help to balance out everything else!
stargardener says
Love your day-by-day notations. It reminds me to divide my progress into days (instead of expecting overnight results :P ) I appreciate your transparency and willingness to share your days here.
Regarding The Joy Diet, I skipped over a lot of this chapter. I don't think women are "trained" ... I believe we cultivate and grow by planting seeds of change and habit.